Sea of Stars Publishing

So its like this,it will be a long weekend this week cos of Diwali, the docs have allowed home leave. this means i get to go home but have to report in at the hospital at specified times. They are not discharging me cos well, they fear for my safety on public transport and wad not.

My dad was not happy. He said if i can go home, why not discharge  me now? Well, I understand the safety concerns. Meanwhile, my next bed neighbour was brought home by her daughter. She has only one leg and is not socially “functional” no matter how you look at it. But she is Hindu and it means a lot to her.

Boo Hoo…. no one wants me!

“I might as well stay in the hospital!.” I said angrily. See the docs and therapists are not convinced at all that my dad can really look after me. Also one of the therapists has  a bad opinion of him. She said he had issues  looking after me physically. He was uncomfortable following nursing procedures and what not. (for instance he had issues holding me up while walking by my waistband. I told him that all the nurses do it. He said it affected his image as a “decent man”! I am cursing…. so the therapists are getting me to move around as independent as possible. )

Well I’m stuck. If I can afford to stay here permanently, I don’t mind institutions.At least they are regulated by law. I have counselors. social workers and an accountant to calculate costs.(This is cos some patients can’t ever go home, have no money and are maybe insane so the state steps in to help. If you are legally insane, they will not leave you on the street.)

 

 

So the docs have been studying me for days. I think based on a medical text, n the el accompanying MRI photos, I likely  have an Ischaemic stroke. Really, I’m just lucky to be alive. I am learning to walk again. It’s a slow process. And I wanna get it done ASAP.tHEY DID AN ultrasound n found no embolism or blocked vessel. This is to say, they have no idea. So now they are taking the ultra- rarified theory route, testing for BS like genetic causes. I think they are going to find ABSOLUTELY NUTS.

 

 

So I had a stroke on Thursday before going to tutor my students. I sorta slipped n fell in the bathroom, hitting my head somewhere near the top-back. I sorta flipped myself over, managed to get up and walk back to my room. (don’t ask me how i did it, it was a vague blur.)ONCE I  was there i realized i could not put on my clothes. I thought the concussion from the fall might have rattled my brain. I realized pretty soon that iHad to see a doc. So I  sat in the darkening room. Luckily my ma came home in a few hours n she brought me to a nearby hospital in a cab.

I am now at this hospital.

I pretty adverse to docs n medicine because of the high cost. i meanI have insurance both personal n govt-based but I shudder.at the prohibitive cost.My aunt, who had multiple strokes is now permanently in hospice care.(she is not related to me by blood. Her daughter is studying to be a neurosurgeon.)

Anyway when I got there, ‘they did a CT  scan on me to see if there are any skull fractures.Then they did an MRI to confirm the stroke. I did not fracture my head. (THAT’S MY BIGGEST FEAR.)

I did have a stroke, but since it’s a small area in the brain, My motor coordination on my left is affected. I move like a drunk on my left. My right is unaffected. Left brain controls verbal skills, analytical skill and the right side of the body. (thank goodness i.can’t work if i get a left brain stroke.I am typing with my right.)

PUBLIC SVC ANNOUNCEMENT:

Folks, if you have a stroke, get to ER as fast as possible. (1-2 HOURS) They have BS you can take on arrival to reverse some of the effects of a stroke.. no crap.

They are now trying to determine why I  have it. I do not have high cholesterol, I have high blood but normal cholesterol. I am not obese, (BMI wise)  I am not of large size, n I am a tad anemic.

This is to say. they have no real idea. The neurologist suspects hormones or an autoimmune condition.(ultra-rarified reason)

I am lucky. The folks at this hospital ae genuine good people. the docs are competent.And the nurses are professional n kind.(that does not lower the cost… sigh)

 

 

I realized that I had celebrated with rituals the Seventh Month, the unluckiest month of the year, it is the Festival of the Hungry Ghosts, which Singaporeans will not fail to celebrate. Honestly, no matter what they are, Buddhist, Christian, whatever, they will not fail to be careful during this month. Despite the island’s modernity, tradition and especially superstition is strong in the blood of the people. Chinese people are the ultimate pragmatists. So you will still find people who will take this chance to ask the departed for winning lottery numbers. However, if you win, you will have to make big . offerings to the respective ghosts or suffer the consequences. The traditions are passed from grandmother to mother to daughter. I find that in traditional beliefs, it always passes through the maternal line.  My grandmother taught me, my mother before she became “Christian”, my cousin and all the women in my life.

This video explains the Singaporean attitude to the Hungry Ghost Festival. And shows how some things are done, like sending ur departed loved ones clothes, accessories and how the Hell Postal Service works.

If you think about it, Chinese pagan beliefs in Southeast Asia are probably a modernized form of the Egyptian-style pagan beliefs, of which I am an adherent. I will not be mummified (there is simply no one that can do it right) but I do believe in Ma’at and needing to live one’s True Purpose. And yes, I do believe in Ra and the cult of the sun god. I have opted for cremation because of pragmatic reasons. I and my sister are the last of our family. When we die, there will be no one to do our offerings. I might have my name tablet placed in a Buddhist temple so I can get offerings from random monks and worshhippers on festival days. Its how things are. With luck, I will likely reincarnate in a few decades or I will wander around eating offerings made by Buddhist/Taoist people for the wandering spirits.

Does food offered to the spirits taste different? The answer is .. Yes. The fruits are often dry on the inside (especially oranges) and somehow the food seems bland. Its just my perception, so you are free to disagree. However, if you come over to Singapore during this time, you are free to try it for yourself.

There are many superstitions surrounding the seventh month, one is that you have to get home before dark to avoid wandering ghosts. And you should try not to urinate outdoors in case you might accidentally tinkle on a passing ghost. Amongst other things. If you do encounter a strange floral smell at night, especially in an area without jasmine or frangipani plants, it might indicate the presence of a spirit.

Also, people have reported seeing strange people roaming about the neighbourhood at night. However, since there are now so many people on the island of Singapore, it is hard to know every single new neighbour. However, ghosts do look like normal folk and it is impossible to tell the ghost from normal folks without physically interacting with them.

Ghosts can take the form of ANYONE. Even someone you know well. There are tales of how in the middle of the night, a night watchman will encounter his friend going to the toilet and later encountering the same person at another spot where he cannot have got there based on where he was last seen, The person in the tale often cannot tell the difference between the spirit and his actual friend.

Most cops in Singapore and Malaysia also have their own personal tales of encountering strange things on night duty. I knew a Malaysian cop who had his own strange ghostly tale from his personal experience.

Singaporeans are in fact the biggest fans of ghost stories, this is based on the fact that the locally published True Singapore Ghost Stories anthology collections have been on local bestseller lists for 10 years straight! I do not think that any book can topple its position at no. 1 spot. Not even 50 Shades of …..

So do not be afraid of sharing ur own ghost experience at work, likely you will find sympathic listeners or Christians who will tell you to wear big ptominant crosses or crucifixes, or muslims who will tell you which koranic verses to recite aloud in scary circumstances.

Professional ramen eating is a sad truth for writers living in Asia and elsewhere as well. In spite of the excellent packaging, each bowl was bought at a sale for a mere 50 Singapore cents. Thank goodness for Korean supermarkets!

If you have a dream to leave ur folks by a certain age and strike out on ur own, be a banker or any other thing. Because you are likely never going to do it via writing. I have spoken to loads of writers and journalists who spend tons of time crouched over a bowl of ramen and a huge mug of coffee or tea. In fact, when I was 18, I met a British poet who spent 10 years on government benefits. His dad even wondered if something was wrong with his boy.  I sure hope he is alive and ok. When I was 16, I had a vision of myself living in a sewer. I hope there are no writers in sewers because they can’t make the rent. Honestly, imagine that kind of life, no wonder most male journalists consider the army option.

About living in a sewer. I am not writing that off because they recently caught some illegal immigrants living in a sewer near my place. So that reality might still happen. I hope there are no writers in sewers because they can’t make the rent. Honestly, imagine that kind of life, no wonder most male journalists end up considering the army option at one point or another.

If you are a girl, and you are not lesbian, consider marriage. Honestly. My cousin, who is also a writer, got married as fast as she could and had a ton of kids. I mean, some ladies can’t wait to get married, and that’s my cousin, she had thought about being a nun when we were younger but decided that marriage was her thing. The moment she realized that she found a guy so fast, I was shocked.

The writing life is easier for a gal who has someone she can depend on, honestly. Especially if she also wants to stop living with her ma and pa. I am talking about the ugly truths of life in our time. Life is hard and its better for two people who can tolerate each other to face the harsh realities  together rather than alone. I on the other hand, have always been a loner, so I think I am still relatively sane. I have the darndest luck looking for men. Almost all the guys I dated were gay. (That really brings along with it a whole load of its own problems.)

What can I say, these days when I meet an interested guy, I would also ask if he is gay, given my track record, the chances of meeting a gay guy who needs to “marry” to satisfy the folks who want a grandkid are needless to say, high. And I do not want to be one of those gals who live a sexless life because their husband is gay. (It’s a strange thing that happens a lot here in Southeast Asia. I will talk about it in a future post)

 

 

 

If you have read this blog before, you might remember me mentioning that in Chinese ancestor worship traditions in South East Asia, if you want your departed grandma or grandpa to have whatever, you will have to have it made in paper format so it can be burnt and sent to the departed.

I think this whole paper thing was because back in the Qin Dynasty, Emperor Qin Shih Huang spent so much on his tomb filling it with life-sized terracotta warriors and what not, it pretty much bankrupted the imperial treasury. Well, his successor, Emperor Gaozu of the Han dynasty was much more frugal and had miniatures made for his tomb instead. Over time, this became the paper representations of houses, servants and cars made by specialist artisans. (This is sadly a dying art. No thanks in part to the spread of monotheism in South East Asia, some old people, fearing that their descendants might not offer anything to them on the ancestor feast days, got themselves urn niches in Buddhist temples so they would continue getting offerings and prayers from the monks and random worshippers.)

If you are pagan and reading this, remember, to make sure your departed ancestor gets whatever, get it made in paper format. I think any Chinatown in any country will have one or two of these artisans. I think if you really want to make sure that your ancestor gets it, write their name in Chinese on the parcel you are burning them. I think that ANY shop that sells these things has package wrapping for sending to the Hell postal service.

Yes, apparently even Hell has a postal service. Much like the Egyptians, the Chinese believe that your name is important. Offerings and prayers are said to a tablet with your Chinese name written on it. I guess this directs your prayers to the right person. When you die, your ancestral tablet will be put in the family home. This is what your children will speak to. There are some communities in Asia that do have the actual ancestor in their home. This means your actual dead body. They take care of it and redress it once every three years. I might do a post on it once I can find the appropriate video. So you know that this is real.

What do I think of all of this? Well, I can only tell you what I have seen.

I came home late about two years ago and I remember that an old man had died in the next apartment block because the funeral was taking place in the area below the block.

I remember jumping back suddenly because out of literally nowhere, a paper delivery truck with large Chinese characters appeared and did a turn that would have made the stunt drivers of Tokyo Drift proud. No kid, a real paper delivery truck. I think now it wasn’t really a delivery truck,but more likely a soul collection service, likely run by the “Hell police.” Hey, I said before, I can’t read no Chinese,okay. Also if Hell has branding and logos, I do not know any of it.

According at least to local belief, Hell apparently has enforcers that make sure people do not run off after death and go to the Afterlife properly. These are the “Hell Gods” that many Chinese people pray to.

When you think about it, Chinese Hell is a little like Greek Hades, souls are judged and after some time in purgatory, they are sent to be reincarnated.  The truly righteous go to Heaven and the rest go to purgatory.

Legend has it that we do not remember a damn thing because an old woman at the bridge of reincarnation feeds everyone a soup that makes them forget everything from before. If you think about it, it is sort of like a soup made from the Lethe water of Greek Hades.

Well, at least for the pagan folk, rest assured, your dearly departed ancestor will get what you burn in the offering pile because Chinese Hell has rules. So remember to write your grandma/grandpa’s ancestral name in Chinese to direct the package to the right person and it won’t get stuck at the Hell General Post Office sorting room. The dead in Chinese Hell do live like people on earth. So if you want grandma or grandpa to have IPhone 6 or Samsung, you know what to do. The format was established by tradition and is still observed today.

Do not worry about Chinese naming, every Chinatown should have a professional calligrapher (usually some really old dude) who can get your Chinese name properly written. There is really something to be said about the scribe profession.

OR ELSE, get a true-to-life photo of your dearly departed ( or closest equivalent) and direct your prayers at it. Thank goodness for photography. I mean the Egyptians also believed that the actual image of the deceased could encourage remembrance and immortality of the soul in the afterlife. Thus the coffins often had the face of the deceased and scenes from his/her life would be painted on the tomb walls.

 

 

I mentioned Tangki in the previous post. Thinking that perhaps people reading this might nor be familiar, I have included a link to a youtube documentary on the topic. There are subtitles in case you do not understand the languages spoken.

Well, most Tangki really look normal, and so really, I am not afraid. This sort of thing has been part of my life since I was a kid. I lived in parts of Singapore where the ancient traditions are observed.

Of course, I also knew from a young age that not all tangki are the real deal. I mean my dad had this tape where this tangki confessed that sometimes he faked a possession when the god he called upon did not come. I have heard it over the years, but sadly the audio recording did not survive our house move.

Well, a lot of Tangki have special tattoos for “protection”, it appears that Jeffrey from the documentary has some Thai ones on his back.

I was sort of away over the weekend because of work-related issues and also because I had an almost continuous migraine headache. I used to have them 10 years ago, but they disappeared and now, lo and behold, they are back with a vengeance!

I am not sure why I have them, the medical doctors recommend a CAT scan but I am not going to spend $700 on a scan and be told that they have no idea what’s wrong. Which is a likely diagnosis one doctor said I might have? Over countless years, many doctors have tried tons of suggestions. But the only one that truly worked was from a female doctor who suggested that I try meditation. Now, that really worked.

The first time this headache happened was when a friend challenged me to read his mind. I apparently succeeded. Yes, I read his mind. After that, I had the worse migraines of my life. The friend, whom I will call “The Shark” said it could be cos I was exercising a ,muscle I never used.

Well, The Shark never told me about all the BS that happened when I started seeing strange things. I mean, I do on occasion see weird shadow heads poking out of doorways and shadow people zipping from room to room. I do not talk about them because I do not have photo proof. My god, if I had proof, you would see a YOUTUBE channel on it.As things are, I write books about what I have seen. Am I crazy? Maybe, but I am able to function normally in society and over time I have learned to tell the difference between so-called “reality” and “hallucination”.

I do not have PTSD because I have never been in a shooting conflict in this lifetime. I have also not be subjected to explosions at close quarters like my prof, he is slightly deaf in one ear because a bomb, I think, exploded close to him in Iraq.

I am able to function because over time I have learned to differentiate so-called normative “reality” from the strange stuff. People are ok as long as I do not really talk about it and pretend everything is normal.

But, the weekend was particularly bad because the moment I closed my eyes for a snooze on my bed, I saw a man yelling at me. It was so real, that I would have jumped up but, I knew from experience that it was not real. I sort of turned in bed to “turn my back” so to speak,

I thought that was the end of that when the shouting stopped. However, I was assaulted by images of a black-faced female Tangki (indigenous spirit medium) who stood over me.glaring and I later found myself in a limestone cave where she was in attendance at a ceremony and was sitting in a swing. I think she was Asian, maybe Chinese, but she had an awful black face. I think she was being “ridden by” a deity from Chinese hell.

I did not stay to view the entire ceremony, but I know what the cave looked like, perhaps they were the Batu caves in Malaysia, I am not too sure because I have only been there once.

It was more or less like that for the whole weekend. My BFF said I was likely experiencing terrible hormonal surges cos of my period. (I have nasty periods….)

Good grief, I am over 40 and I thought that I had this nonsense beat over 10 years ago!

I have never told my prof or anyone apart from my BFF and close friends about this, cos, looking like a loony is no good for anyone’s career.

I am writing this because this week I asked someone what his book was not knowing he had not published yet and he told me  about his new project. I really wanted to know what he wrote before.

Please for heaven’s sake do not talk about your new project to people you have not met in real life! The internet is full of copycats and idea stealers.  You do not want people to steal your idea. True the idiots may not have your talent or skill, but they might take your idea and try to do a book. Humans are  by and large unscrupulous. Tell yourself this. It is true.

If something is important to you, keep so quiet about it until it receives the ISBN nos and is selling. I mean talk about it when its reality is more or less solid and you are receiving money. Really, you do not know how many idiots out there steal what is not theirs. You do not want your baby stolen.  All profs who publish know about this. Learn from the pros.

Before anything, protect yourself and your baby. Do not live in regret. You do not know what people will do with your idea. I mean I knew this from a young age, I have never told a soul I wanted to do novels. Just do it first. Then, talk. People cannot steal your baby when  you can prove in a court of law that it belongs to you. Then when they try to take your idea, sue them for every penny, really. Do not feel pity, do not let them off… Some people need to learn a lesson. And you could use the financial benefits. 

 

 

 

I wish someone told me this when I was looking to get my first solo fiction work out.  Go Createspace first cos the  Amazon program will auto import your title to Kindle and give you a free ISBN! An ISBN puts that stamp that says ur book is legit, to book readers, that is. Amazon will then assign you an ASIN (Amazon cataloging nos. for your kindle work, I know ISBN nos. can be expensive, so go the free route.).

Also, I find that going print first makes  you check and proof ur book like hell. I mean, do not click approve until TOTALLY satisfied. This is your THANG, then, make sure it is close to perfect or darn near close as you can make it.Also, book readers like a physical thing, so trade paperback is the way to go. A physical book is important for traditional readers, who will be your most loyal supporters, honest to god(s).

Physical proofing will cut down on typos, margin errors and BS like that. DO NOT end up like 50 Shades of… please! I mean, I do not care how much money EL James made, but as a professional, have pride. Your work will likely sit on bookshelves for years! When you have proofed it 30+ times and you feel that pride, you KNOW this is for you. Idiots who only dream about writing cannot stand the whole proof until the printers curse your name BS! All real artists are hurt when someone points out a typo in ur book which you wrote over the space of a year! I was trained by a hunter of bad guys who asked nothing but the best for himself and his students. He made me know what it means to have a flawless product.

When people curse ur attention to detail and the printers roll their eyes, that’s when you know you are an artist! That’s what differentiates people who only talk about writing from real professionals.

I do not want another EL James to make the moolah. I want every one of us who is a true artist to grab all the readers and show the elitist idiots that indie publishers are the way of the future. EVERYONE has the right to have their story told. The readers decide if you are worth their time or not.

Let us take back what is ours!