All About Paper

If you have read this blog before, you might remember me mentioning that in Chinese ancestor worship traditions in South East Asia, if you want your departed grandma or grandpa to have whatever, you will have to have it made in paper format so it can be burnt and sent to the departed.

I think this whole paper thing was because back in the Qin Dynasty, Emperor Qin Shih Huang spent so much on his tomb filling it with life-sized terracotta warriors and what not, it pretty much bankrupted the imperial treasury. Well, his successor, Emperor Gaozu of the Han dynasty was much more frugal and had miniatures made for his tomb instead. Over time, this became the paper representations of houses, servants and cars made by specialist artisans. (This is sadly a dying art. No thanks in part to the spread of monotheism in South East Asia, some old people, fearing that their descendants might not offer anything to them on the ancestor feast days, got themselves urn niches in Buddhist temples so they would continue getting offerings and prayers from the monks and random worshippers.)

If you are pagan and reading this, remember, to make sure your departed ancestor gets whatever, get it made in paper format. I think any Chinatown in any country will have one or two of these artisans. I think if you really want to make sure that your ancestor gets it, write their name in Chinese on the parcel you are burning them. I think that ANY shop that sells these things has package wrapping for sending to the Hell postal service.

Yes, apparently even Hell has a postal service. Much like the Egyptians, the Chinese believe that your name is important. Offerings and prayers are said to a tablet with your Chinese name written on it. I guess this directs your prayers to the right person. When you die, your ancestral tablet will be put in the family home. This is what your children will speak to. There are some communities in Asia that do have the actual ancestor in their home. This means your actual dead body. They take care of it and redress it once every three years. I might do a post on it once I can find the appropriate video. So you know that this is real.

What do I think of all of this? Well, I can only tell you what I have seen.

I came home late about two years ago and I remember that an old man had died in the next apartment block because the funeral was taking place in the area below the block.

I remember jumping back suddenly because out of literally nowhere, a paper delivery truck with large Chinese characters appeared and did a turn that would have made the stunt drivers of Tokyo Drift proud. No kid, a real paper delivery truck. I think now it wasn’t really a delivery truck,but more likely a soul collection service, likely run by the “Hell police.” Hey, I said before, I can’t read no Chinese,okay. Also if Hell has branding and logos, I do not know any of it.

According at least to local belief, Hell apparently has enforcers that make sure people do not run off after death and go to the Afterlife properly. These are the “Hell Gods” that many Chinese people pray to.

When you think about it, Chinese Hell is a little like Greek Hades, souls are judged and after some time in purgatory, they are sent to be reincarnated.  The truly righteous go to Heaven and the rest go to purgatory.

Legend has it that we do not remember a damn thing because an old woman at the bridge of reincarnation feeds everyone a soup that makes them forget everything from before. If you think about it, it is sort of like a soup made from the Lethe water of Greek Hades.

Well, at least for the pagan folk, rest assured, your dearly departed ancestor will get what you burn in the offering pile because Chinese Hell has rules. So remember to write your grandma/grandpa’s ancestral name in Chinese to direct the package to the right person and it won’t get stuck at the Hell General Post Office sorting room. The dead in Chinese Hell do live like people on earth. So if you want grandma or grandpa to have IPhone 6 or Samsung, you know what to do. The format was established by tradition and is still observed today.

Do not worry about Chinese naming, every Chinatown should have a professional calligrapher (usually some really old dude) who can get your Chinese name properly written. There is really something to be said about the scribe profession.

OR ELSE, get a true-to-life photo of your dearly departed ( or closest equivalent) and direct your prayers at it. Thank goodness for photography. I mean the Egyptians also believed that the actual image of the deceased could encourage remembrance and immortality of the soul in the afterlife. Thus the coffins often had the face of the deceased and scenes from his/her life would be painted on the tomb walls.